Almost every relationship has its share of disagreements, conflicts, and misunderstandings. However, when it seems like every time I try to have a conversation with this particular friend or co-worker or family member the end result is an argument, or when one of us seems to never really listen to the other, those are red flags. Those are warning signs that something in this relationship needs to be addressed. How do I recognize communication red flags in my relationships? And what can I do to improve how I listen to this other person and improve how clearly I communicate my perspective with them?
"Red flags" serve as warning signs. A burger restaurant that serves "bargain sushi"? That's a red flag. A used car dealer that says, "This vehicle has only been in two previous accidents"? That's a red flag. But what about red flags in relationships? Whether it's in a friendship, a dating relationship, or a marriage, we need to pay attention to red flags that may be warning us that there is something unhealthy in our connection with that other person. What are some of the more common relationship red flags? And what are spiritually and emotionally healthy ways of dealing with those warning signs?
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"I'm too busy." "It's been too long." "It's not a big deal." If we made those kinds of excuses for why we're disconnected from our spouse or someone we're dating or our kids, it would be heartbreaking for that person. And yet many of us make the same kind of excuses for why we don't choose a relationship with God or why we don't stay in a close connection with Him. So why does it matter whether or not I choose to accept God's grace in my life? And how do I get out of the habit of making excuses for why my relationship with Him has grown stagnant?
Most of us know the frustration of setting goals for ourselves in different aspects of our lives and then failing to stay committed to achieving those goals. Often we find a variety of excuses to justify why we fall short of what we set out to accomplish. What if, instead of making excuses, I chose to follow through on the things I know I need to do? What would happen if I kept trying again instead of giving up when things got tough? As I begin a new year, it may be time to recognize the things in my life that need to be different, and it may be time for me to fully commit to those changes - no excuses!