While guilt can sometimes be a good motivator, it is also often used as a weapon, especially in relationships. We put people on guilt trips to manipulate feelings and make them do or not do what we want. Sometimes we don't even realize we're using guilt as a weapon in our relationships until enough damage has been done, and we see the hurt we've caused. No one wins when we play the "guilt game," so how do I break the habit of using guilt to get my way? What are some signs I need to look for to see if I'[m hurting my relationships with guilt?
It’s common for people to “play games” in certain relationships. We make choices and say things in order to win the argument or get things to go our way, and at the same time we end up undermining trust and respect with that other person. At Flagstone for the month of February, we are going to take an honest look at the games people play in relationships and discover how we can truly “win” by making our different connections the healthiest they can be.
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Shame is such a powerful emotion. It goes beyond just a sense of guilt or remorse for past mistakes. Shame leads me to believe, not just that I did something bad, but that I am a bad person. That kind of perspective can be devastating to my sense of self-worth. But Jesus came into our world to conquer the things that keep us separated from God, including our shame. So how do I recognize if shame is something that is impacting my attitude and actions? And how do I allow Jesus to defeat and remove feelings of shame from my mind and heart?
Many of us consistently struggle with shame – that feeling of unworthiness or inadequacy because of something we’ve done or because of someone else’s judgment and criticism. Shame can negatively impact our sense of self-worth and can damage our connections with others. But scripture teaches that Jesus came, not just take away our sin, but to take away our shame. So for the next few weeks at Flagstone we’re going to recognize the power shame can have over us, and we’re going to discover how to break free from grip of shame in our lives.