Almost every relationship has its share of disagreements, conflicts, and misunderstandings. However, when it seems like every time I try to have a conversation with this particular friend or co-worker or family member the end result is an argument, or when one of us seems to never really listen to the other, those are red flags. Those are warning signs that something in this relationship needs to be addressed. How do I recognize communication red flags in my relationships? And what can I do to improve how I listen to this other person and improve how clearly I communicate my perspective with them?
"Red flags" serve as warning signs. A burger restaurant that serves "bargain sushi"? That's a red flag. A used car dealer that says, "This vehicle has only been in two previous accidents"? That's a red flag. But what about red flags in relationships? Whether it's in a friendship, a dating relationship, or a marriage, we need to pay attention to red flags that may be warning us that there is something unhealthy in our connection with that other person. What are some of the more common relationship red flags? And what are spiritually and emotionally healthy ways of dealing with those warning signs?
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Whether it's my relationship with my spouse, my kids, my parents, or my siblings, there are times when that relationship is strained, hurting, maybe even broken. For many of us, instead of trying to address whatever the issue might be and trying to find healing, we simply make excuses for why that relationship might be dysfunctional without actually choosing to do anything about it. But what would it look like if I made a conscious effort to mend that broken connection and make it stronger? And what would it take for me to stop making excuses and start being a blessing to my family?
Most of us know the frustration of setting goals for ourselves in different aspects of our lives and then failing to stay committed to achieving those goals. Often we find a variety of excuses to justify why we fall short of what we set out to accomplish. What if, instead of making excuses, I chose to follow through on the things I know I need to do? What would happen if I kept trying again instead of giving up when things got tough? As I begin a new year, it may be time to recognize the things in my life that need to be different, and it may be time for me to fully commit to those changes - no excuses!